Children have more need of models than critics-Joubert

Some parents think that they are encouraging their children by challenging them to excel better than their friends, classmates and neighbors. Their favorite expressions are: Why can't you be...How come your sister/cousin/friend....? Some are challenged and they strive to make their parents happy. Some don't bother. Some rebel. With other people as a yardstick for the people's accomplishment or well-being, the foundation of life becomes weak. Take for example these people: 1. The Friends' Friend-The individual evaluates his entire world based on what others think about him. He has to gain approval no matter if he buys the friends with gifts or ... More... favors. There is nothing more important in life than being accepted by what he thinks as the right group of friends. Mostly teenagers fall in this category. Adults who join this category may need reassessment of their views of life. 2. The Achiever- The person's gauge for her success is a function of what she has accomplished . The obsession to get good grades, recognitions, distinctions gives little room for character. Did she step on someone on her way up? Did she cheat to get the good grades? 3. Love is my Life-It's worse than number one, since the measure of the person's self worth is a function of whether someone is in love with her/him or not. 4.The What is your agenda-The person who thinks that there are enemies out to get him. He thinks there is always a hidden agenda for every good thing that he receives from other people. 5. The Guess Who I dined with: The person is focused on relating to people with authority. The more popular the person is, the greater is the feeling that one has "arrived". 6.Life is not fair- Person thinks that he is worthless not because of his fault but because life is not fair. 7. The Non-Risk Taker- The person who would not take a licensing exam for fear that he might not pass. The person who would not make his feelings known to the object of his love for fear of being rejected. Take the mirror and ask yourself.